Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts

Sunday, July 6, 2025

2025.07.06 HOPE—FULLNESS. Lyn G. Brakeman, Spiritual Lemons, blog post



Poetry

Whatever happens, stay alive.

Don't die before you're dead.

Don't lose yourself, don't lose hope, don't loose direction. Stay alive, with yourself, with every cell of your body, with every fiber of your skin. 

Stay alive, learn, study, think, read, build, invent, create, speak, write, dream, design.

Stay alive, stay alive inside you, stay alive also outside, fill yourself with colors of the world, fill yourself with peace, fill yourself with hope.

Stay alive with joy. 

There is only one thing you should not waste in life,

and that's life itself..."

Virginia Woolf


AND a sudden surprise popped out: a sprout on the “dying” presumed dead Amaryllis!


















AND a portrait of three eager young bell ringers—a way for bored young children to participate in the liturgy of the Mass. I call it timed noisiness.  Let’em ring!! They are a sacrament. 




Sunday, September 22, 2024

2024.09.22 ADVICE FROM A HONEY BEE, Lyn G. Brakeman, Spiritual Lemons, blog post

 


CREATE A BUZZ

SIP LIFE’S MOMENTS

MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX

WOTK TOGETHER

ALWAYS FIND YOUR WAY HOME

STICK CLOSE TO YOUR HONEY

BEE YOURSELF



 













These are the things children or teens do best. Can we do these things as we age?

I bet I can create a buzz. It might shock innocent souls but hey! 

Ain’t that the point, honey? 

                Courtesy of Mercy Associates, Mercy Day, 2024

Sunday, December 12, 2021

2021.12.12 The Arts in Advent. What Poems Can Do.

Poetry is one of the most subtle, supple, and sacred arts. Here is the story of one poet whose soul spoke wonders in poems.  


Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American educator and poet, was born in 1807, the second of eight children, in Portland, Maine, which was then a part of Massachusetts. He was studious and became fluent in Latin, publishing his first poem in the Portland Gazette in 1820, at age thirteen. Henry entered Bowdoin College and graduated Phi Beta Kappa at 15.


As a senior, Longfellow wrote to his father about his own aspiration in literature:  “I will not disguise it in the least…. the fact is, I most eagerly aspire after future eminence in literature, my whole soul burns most ardently after it, and every earthly thought centres in it…. I am almost confident in believing, that if I can ever rise in the world it must be by the exercise of my talents in the wide field of literature.” 


*  *  *  *


I can identify with such determination and passionate confidence. Growing up, I discovered who I was through diaries and journals. Still, as an adult woman I was not as fee as Longfellow. I wanted a family, plus a bit of writerly status. I became a thief of time, fitting writing into the rest of my life, personal and professional as an Episcopal priest.  


*  *  *  *


In 1829, Longfellow turned down a professorship at Bowdoin College. Imagine! He wrote to the president of Bowdoin that he was turning down the professorship because he considered the $600 salary "disproportionate to the duties required". The trustees raised his salary to $800 with an additional $100 to serve as the college’s Librarian. All of this was to him a “joyless work.” So guess what?—he married a childhood friend, Mary Storer Potter, and they settled into marital unhappiness.    


By 1834, he was contacted by the president of Harvard to be contracted as professor of modern languages but stipulated he had to study abroad first. There he studied German, Finnish, Swedish, Danish and Icelandic. In October of 1835, Mary miscarried at six months and died. Longfellow sent Mary’s body to be buried in Mt Auburn Cemetery in Cmbridge and fell into a deep sadness. “All day I am weary and sad.” 


Returning to Harvard in 1836, this young brooding man of thirty, lived in Cambridge at Craigie House where he rented rooms and began to publish poetry. Longfellow was well liked as a professor, though he disliked being "constantly a playmate for boys" rather than "stretching out and grappling with men's minds.” The malice of discontent took residence in his grieving midlife soul. 


*  *  *  *


I recall a similar midlife feeling when I was a young mother of four blooming children and married to a husband pursuing his own ambitions and not home enough to be a companion/partner in project life. I prayed and lamented. I experimented with extramarital flirtations. Unable to find each other, my first husband and I divorced in 1982. I journaled my way through it all. 


*  *  *  * 


Longfellow married Frances (Fanny) Appleton in 1843 after a very long courtship in which he pursued her over seven years with vigor and passion. When she finally agreed he was so nervous he walked 90 minutes to her house on Beacon Hill in Boston and crossed the Boston Bridge which, as of 1906, was renamed the Longfellow Bridge. Perhaps the American version of the Florentine Bridge of Sighs. 


The couple had six children. Tragedy struck in 1861. Fanny was putting locks of her children's hair into an envelope and attempting to seal it with hot sealing wax while Longfellow took a nap. Her dress suddenly caught fire, though it is unclear exactly how; burning wax or a lighted candle may have fallen onto it. Longfellow was awakened from his nap and rushed to help her, throwing a small rug over her, and trying to stifle the flames with his body. Fanny was taken to her room to recover and a doctor was called. She was in and out of consciousness throughout the night and was administered ether. She died shortly after 10:00 the next morning, July 10, after requesting a cup of coffee. 


Longfellow, in trying to save her, had burned himself badly. He was unable to attend her funeral. His facial injuries led him to stop shaving, and he wore a beard from then on. That beard became his trademark. We all have scars to hide or disguise—most of them left by love.  




















Devastated by her death, Longfellow resorted to laudanum and ether to deal with his grief, begged not to be sent to an asylum, and noted he was “inwardly bleeding to death.”  Eighteen years later he wrote a sonnet: “The Cross of Snow”:  


Such is the cross I wear upon my breast

These eighteen years, through all the changing scenes

And seasons, changeless since the day she died. 


*  *  *  *


In the late 1970s into the 80s I too experienced such an overload of grief—a deluge in which I thought I would drown. My youngest sister died, my father died, my marriage died, my divorce was finalized, and my vocational aspirations in the Episcopal Church died. At the same time I suffered a bout of asthma so severe it resisted usual treatments. A pulmonologist administered medical treatment enough to help me breathe, but my lungs have never been the same. They carry the memory of all that grief. 


When you banish or bury pain you also banish love. Therapy helped me retrieve my lost feelings, including anger, and saved me from drowning, or trying to live a rich full life from the neck up only! Writing, theological studies, prayer retreats, liturgy, growing children, therapy, and trying out big sins also helped round me out. In time I found a new and vital lover whom I married, and a new diocesan bishop in time ordained me deacon in 1987 and priest in1988.  


  *  *  *  *


Longfellow's personality became part of his reputation, in part because he had been presented as a gentle, placid, poetic soul, an image perpetuated by his brother Samuel Longfellow who wrote an early biography which specifically emphasized these points. James Russell Lowell said, Longfellow had an "absolute sweetness, simplicity, and modesty.”  At his funeral Ralph Waldo Emerson called him “a sweet and beautiful soul.’ His real life, however, was more difficult than people assumed, or than he let on. He had neuralgia, chronic pain and poor eyesight, and much bereavement over the death of his wives and later a daughter. He was quiet, reserved, private, and more introverted. He found his energy and emotions through his poetry. In later years he became unsocial and avoided leaving home, dying at 75.  


When you banish pain you banish love.  


Longfellow remained popular with children, who adored him. He wrote a poem about the village blacksmith under the spreading chestnut tree. When that tree was cut down, the children of Cambridge, Massachusetts, had it converted into an armchair they presented to him. I still hold dear this phrase in his poem “The Children’s Hour.”  I begged my mother to read it nightly. It made me feel important. 


Between the dark and the daylight,

      When the night is beginning to lower,

Comes a pause in the day's occupations,

      That is known as the Children's Hour.


After Longfellow’s death, his bust was placed in Westminster Abbey in London, the only American so honored. He was also honored with a commemorative stamp issued by the US Postal Service.  All this, yet his popularity declined quickly after his death in 1882 as academics shifted their attention to other poets like Frost and Whitman. The twentieth century literary scholar Kermit Vanderbilt noted, "Increasingly rare is the scholar who braves ridicule to justify the art of Longfellow's popular rhymings.”


*  *  *  *

Such scholarly snobbery angers me. I tend to write it off as the jealousy of lesser, maybe would-be, poets and those who refuse to acknowledge the joy of children  who live their live in rhyme. Why do we all remember nursery rhymes so well?  I remember memorizing some of Longfellow’s work, as does my youngest son John, now fifty-one, who recently told me that when he struggled in school with learning problems, bullying, and later with colitis, he would every day read to himself before he went to bed Longfellow’s poem of 1844. I wept.


 “The Day Is Done”   


The day is done, and the darkness 

      Falls from the wings of Night, 

As a feather is wafted downward 

      From an eagle in his flight. 


I see the lights of the village 

      Gleam through the rain and the mist, 

And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me 

      That my soul cannot resist: 

A feeling of sadness and longing, 

      That is not akin to pain, 

And resembles sorrow only 

      As the mist resembles the rain. 


Come, read to me some poem, 

      Some simple and heartfelt lay, 

That shall soothe this restless feeling, 

      And banish the thoughts of day. 


For, like strains of martial music, 

      Their mighty thoughts suggest 

Life's endless toil and endeavor; 

      And tonight I long for rest. 


Read from some humbler poet, 

      Whose songs gushed from his heart, 

As showers from the clouds of summer, 

      Or tears from the eyelids start; 


Who, through long days of labor, 

      And nights devoid of ease, 

Still heard in his soul the music 

      Of wonderful melodies. 


Such songs have power to quiet 

      The restless pulse of care, 

And come like the benediction 

      That follows after prayer. 


Then read from the treasured volume 

      The poem of thy choice, 

And lend to the rhyme of the poet 

      The beauty of thy voice. 


And the night shall be filled with music, 

      And the cares, that infest the day, 

Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs, 

And as silently steal away.


Longfellow captured hearts and soothed souls, even if his poetry wasn’t gushing with subjectivity or bulging with the latest innovations. It was enough for me to cross over the Longfellow Bridge in Cambridge regularly. That bridge always meant we were nearing home.


As I age, I feel, with Longfellow, that “sadness of longing not akin to pain”—the deep sigh of homing. That’s what the gentle flow of a poem’s soul can do for my own soul.


*  *  *  *


There are reasons why gospel writers  remember Jesus’s affection and wonder at children—the chief exemplars and purveyors of the heavenly kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. 

Sunday, July 25, 2021

2021.07.25 Sneaky Creepy

There’s a familiar story from Mark’s gospel. The fishermen disciples of Jesus were in a boat fishing in the wee hours of the morning. They struggled against fierce winds and waters. When they saw Jesus skimming the surf they thought it was a ghost and were “terrified.”  They knew better. Jesus said, “Calm yourselves. It’s me.”  Then he got into their boat, and the wind died down. They were stunned and incredulous, despite everything they had been taught. “Their minds were closed.”  (Mark 6:52, The Inclusive Bible)

Their minds were closed. How easily and quickly our good intentions snap shut when we see something completely out of our ordinary line of thinking. I so want to be open-minded, anti-racist, yet it doesn’t take much to close my mind. People who are too afraid to be vaccinated close my mind, for example. Arguing is ineffective. Listening and following the precautions is effective.

Racist attitudes are not alway overt. In fact, like bacteria, according to my pulmonologist, they are tiny and can sneak quietly into any vulnerable scenario and raise bacterial hell—disease, social or individual, biological or societal, artistic or legal.  


I felt like those disciples when I read this tragic wee story. I decided it wasn’t true—just a poem not even by a celebrity author. Yet it would not leave me alone.  It sat on my desk staring at me until I paid attention. 


Dance Amari

for Amari Diaw

Amari Diaw was four years old in 2003 when she faced being banned from her dance school recital in New Bedford, Massachusetts, because she wore her hair in braids that could not be “slicked back and pulled into a bun.”


Do not untie your hair Amari. Do not,

For perfect plies and pirouettes, turn

From native locks or wish for whiteness.

Kick up your thick-boned legs

In cultured protestation

Avoid unbraided simulation

Take first position

Stand on pointed principles

Deconstruct the dance politic.

Do not untie your hair Amari. D not,

For perfect plies and pirouettes, turn

From native locks or wish for whiteness.

Kick up your thick-boned legs

In cultured protestation

Avoid unbraided simulation

Take first position

Stand on pointed principles

Deconstruct the dance politic. 


This poem was written by poet Rhonda Ward, former poet laureate of New London, Connecticut. It was published in Poet’s Corner in the Hartford Courant, 6/20/21. Here is a portrait of the poet.

 























I was stunned, shocked, nauseous, appalled, and weepy when I read this out loud three times, before I copied it down. Four years old—a little child with balletic dreams like so many small girls in tutus entertain. What is free of ugly bias? What is sacred? Who is untouched? What beauty can survive? There’s a “dance politic"?


One of my granddaughters participates in a dance company in her town. She is now one of the stars and a very fine dancer, however her very first recital at age four paralyzed her with terror, probably at the sight of an audience. She stood frozen in space and time, unable to dance what she had so well rehearsed. Frozen.


Do you know what spiritual paralysis is? It’s what you feel when your are suddenly excluded from participation in a group you love because of something you cannot help, something endemic to your nature, something you were born with, something you love, something you fear. It’s what I felt when I at last digested this story and let it into my heart/soul. 


People will naturally ask: what happened? Outcome is not the point. What happened is the point. What happened is itself the answer, is itself the answer.  


All I know is that when the souls of little ones or adults freeze, God thaws all souls, that they may act together to deconstruct dance politic and its many, many siblings. Thawing hurts. So does opening your mind, and so does closing your mind. 


Walking on water might be easier, eh?