I never forget journalist Betty Friedan, the woman who in 1963, the year my oldest daughter was born, published her first book The Feminine Mystique. It begins: "The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the 20th century in the United States. Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night — she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question — 'Is this all?'"
That question sparked a second wave of feminism in the United States, after the first one led by Suffragettes in the early 20th century under the banner “Votes for Women” brought the painful truth of political lop-sidedness into American life. Is that all? Of course not. Friedan’s book would permanently transform the American social fabric and inaugurate a pioneering moment in American history as one of the most influential nonfiction books of the 20th century. For me, I wanted my own self-honesty and freedom, and I wanted to stay close to my children and theirs—at once.
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I’m in the 21st century now, and with conversations much has healed in my family, and I still have blind spots. I wonder why God is still clad in masculine gender. Is this all?
What about larger questions? What about all our warrior language about peace? Do we make war for peace? Do we “battle” cancer? Do we call domestic violence, abuse? Do we “hate” or “demonize” or “fear” people in a political party not our own? Is this all?
Just today an anonymous person delivered a package we had ordered to our door. It meant we didn’t have to travel down to the first floor to get it. It was toothpaste! We laughed. Such a small gesture felt so silly and small and wonderful. This is all.
May we be courageous enough to be open-minded not single-minded. More dependent than independent?
Jesus and a Samaritan woman, as well as Jesus and a man born blind, had conversations that changed both of them, both perspectives, and left both to ponder. Me too. Is this all? YES.
