Tuesday, October 20, 2009

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things—About Aging

As you edge into your 8th decade you may notice you're getting older and more fun when............

-you can c.y.o.g. (choose your own gender)

-you go out to lunch not dinner because you’re in bed when most diners get started and you can’t see to drive well because the moon isn’t as bright as the sun
-your body talks back for the first time
-words that end in ah suddenly end in er as you hear yourself say, Linder’s lovah
-you and your friend or spouse get a case of teenage giggles; you suddenly hear yourself say, “Stop. You’re making me wet your pants!”
-you carefully pinch out the salt for your neti-pot and drop it into your o.j.
-hearing small children’s voices outside, even their wailing, becomes essential soul food
-you read the funnies before the news (even the word funnies dates you)
-nature is a primary source of reverence; in fact you fall in love with Ms. Spider at the window and cry when one day she disappears
-your mate sees you storing bananas in the refrigerator and shouts “Don’t!” You say, “Why not? They’re collecting fruit flies.” He says, “Chiquita Banana says...”
-you give your sleeveless tops to Good Will who, according to your granddaughter, isn’t a girl.
-your flesh takes on a life of its own, separate from your bones
-gratitude is up, griping down; laughter is up, lament down
-you pray that they come up with a less beefy, more stylish call alert wristwatch before you need one—a matter of fashion
-a box pops up on your computer screen saying your server is disconnected, but you don’t know what a server is so you call your six year old grandson.
-the ratio of medical to gossip has flipped from 20/80 to 80/20 in girlfriend conversations
-your will gets weaker but your soul gets stronger
-you think Godde may actually be your father............. AMEN.