Sunday, October 28, 2012

2012.10.28 They Say...Plan Ahead

They say you should plan ahead, not wait till things are in crisis and/or you’re too old and sick to make good decisions. Be prepared like a scout!  So they say......

A big broad swatch of a storm is headed this way, to hit tomorrow. Who knows how ferocious it will be so we're battening down and going out for dinner before the deluge—as if it's our last meal.

I just returned from a same-time-next-year women's weekend in Maine.  We number seven, ages 58-75 from CT., MA., ME and NH,  and we've been meeting for... no one can remember how long.  We laugh, talk, play games, eat M&Ms, and shop. We also talk about our hopes, fears, and souls—and prepare for the unknown future together. Together.

Age happens like storms. Dick and I are  trying to be responsible and make plans just so we know the options and just so our children won’t have to guess at things and do it all for us, and just to prevent altercation about what Mom/Lyn and Dad/Sim would want.

so they say.......

We recently visited our second assisted living facility in Cambridge. It was lovely. We both came home depressed. The place was elegant, very homey or as homey as you can be away from home.

Our first foray at another such place had gone well. So what happened?  I’m not sure, but as we talked we agreed that both of us had felt as if we were a "duty" to our guide, rather than people who mattered. And both of us had noticed, although my husband Dick spoke it aloud, that the guide addressed her patter exclusively his way, looking at him almost without a nod in my direction. I’m a bit inured to that kind of attention deficit but Dick was startled.  I was pleased he noticed it and didn’t like it.

The experience once examined gave us an unexpected boost: we were still vital, still passionate about justice and equity, and more humble than ever about how much control we try for and how little we end up with.

Just one more bloomin’ spiritual trust lesson.  Good for a hearty laugh, refuge in a storm.

Life is but a series of reprieves anyway, right?