Today is Valentines Day, a day on which we deeply honor the eternal value of LOVE, a word as difficult to define as Divinity, and as essential to the well-being of every living thing as food and water.
I am completely persuaded, as I have been for years, that language matters. The words we use advertise what we value most, who we are, and how we see ourselves and others. Words tell the truth about whatever dominates the mind and heart of an individual, a culture, a society, a nation, a country, a world.
Today, and for centuries, the word-of-choice to indicate our highest values, has been FIGHT. (Fight has Germanic origin and relates loosely to fencing, a sport that is lethal, potentially death-dealing, yet requires great skill with movements that look like a graceful dance.)
We FIGHT. It’s the behavior of choice. We FIGHT for and against. Wars are the preferred solutions to sin, cruelty, discrimination, and injustice. FIGHT is the strategy and the ironic path to peace.
We FIGHT cancer and depression or mental illness, and if we lose such “fights” we die, which means we’ve LOST the FIGHT.
FIGHT is the way small boys on a playground prove their mettle, gain acceptance and popularity. Young girls also learn to FIGHT—underhandedly. And just look at the video games our young children play, most all are about war and FIGHTS.
Religions FIGHT against each other. They FIGHT for their own God. FIGHT(ing) images projected onto Divinity in sacred texts are more numerous than images of LOVE.
Sports have become FIGHTS. We sing FIGHT songs. We make FIGHTER jets and train FIGHTER pilots. Politicians FIGHT for votes. We FIGHT for healthcare and the right to freedom and relief from poverty. Why not work for such things? We even FIGHT for peace.
The news throughout the 2021 impeachment trial cited the word FIGHT countless times. It was used to prove the ex-President innocent of charges that his FIGHT language incited acts of domestic terrorism. It was used also to demonstrate that all politicians, even those who leveled FIGHT-charges against the president, use FIGHT.
FIGHT was the word used to convict, and FIGHT the word to assure innocence.
FIGHT is such common parlance in the world of politics, medicine, religion, social discourse, business, entertainment, education, and family life that FIGHT has become benign. That is tragic, if not fatal. That assures that LOVE cannot and does not win. Even when we do fight FOR love, like in wars or duels, it is not very successful, because our goal is to win, not to love.
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And yet there is just one day—today—in the year dedicated to LOVE and to the value of coupling and relationships that enhance goodness in self and other. Rituals that surround LOVE on this one day, which happens to fall on Sunday this year, are costly (flowers, cards, jewelry, pricey chocolates)—icons of LOVE.
Valentine’s Day has many roots from ancient times, yet it is universally dedicated to LOVE, and falls on the same day each year. We will not forget it, even if it can make us sad. That’s because Valentine’s Day is a collective ritual, not unlike the sacraments of worship, always the same day, always in the bleak mid winter, always celebrating the same value, and acted out not just by human couples but by loving families and creatures—even pets or stuffed teddy bear confidants—who know about LOVE, affection, listening, compassion, care, loneliness, and yes, God.
Why the heart shape? Well, because without a beating heart there IS no life, no pulse. On this day we try very, very hard not to fight. On this day we recognize the invaluable beauty of LOVE. It is only by LOVE that this planet will survive and thrive.
My prayer to God is to LOVE those with whom I passionately disagree and/or of whom I’m afraid aka “enemies,” because I cannot yet. The divine goal and purpose is always LOVE not fight. Choose LOVE—every day just a little bit. Make every day Valentine's Day.
