Does it seem odd to you that so many of us talk about the need for community and peace and reconciliation for peace—and yet we often continue to preach, teach and escalate warlike behavior?
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I don’t know about you, but as I age I feel lonely, and it’s not because there are no people around, nor because I am living alone with no husband or roommate; nor is it because I am mildly disabled, nor because my dear husband is inattentive. I could be lazy of course, but………..
So why do so many of us Americans feel this isolation? Years ago I read a small and I thought silly book by Robert Putnam called “Bowling Alone.” I remember thinking it was a strange idea Obviously, no one bowls alone—really.
When I was a college freshman we had to select a sport. I chose bowling, thinking it the least stressful since it was duckpins and the alley was usually empty since no one chose bowling as their sport. I was lonely bowling alone! Putnam advocated bowling teams! Social isolation is bad for one’s health. Too much INdependence increases loneliness.
The retirement community where we now live trumpets its core value: aging in place independently—an oxymoronic term in itself. Hardly a day goes by that most of us do not experience some symptom of the aging process, mentally, physically or psychologically. Some of us, including myself, live with a spouse but most live alone.
A common fear seems to be falling. We have learned that a call to 911 will bring local police to execute a “lift assist” should we not have the strength to get up. Some of us spend the money for lifelines to wear around our neck. Once I had to fish about in a neighbor’s bodice to find her lifeline to call for help. I am not the only one who feels sudden alarm whenever I hear the approach of an ambulance. Where is it going? Who are the sirens for? Who is on that stretcher? Who died? If I call for information I am told about HIPAA ie. we can’t legally reveal medical info about, and we certainly cannot tell you if someone died. I read the obit before the news.
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Robert Putnam recently wrote an essay published in the N.Y Times Magazine, July 21, 2024. He asserted that we must create community which requires energy and investment—social capital. Putnam identified two types of social capital—bonding and bridging. Bonding capital means sticking with others who are like you. Bridging capital is sticking with those who are not like you. I did not think of bowling, I thought of American partisan politics right now.
Obviously, bonding is easier than bridging, yet we need both kinds of social capital to create COMMUNITY-in-PLACE— the only ground fertile enough for us all to nourish God, self, neighbor and neighborhood—all at once.
