It’s important to notice that the accounts of Jesus’s postmortem appearances to his close disciples remember the message as Peace! Peace is what the risen Christ offers, not Love but Peace, because Peace is the only way we will love each other as God does.
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For many years I have sent small and consistent donations to a group called Listening Hearts Ministries. This project, founded in 1987 by Suzanne Farnham, believes that listening well is the key practice to assure goodness and peace in the world.
That’s a big statement. I believe it, because listening happened to and for and through me when I was a small child of three under a large dining room table with a cloth to the floor and four fat legs connected by flattened cross beams on which I would place my food supply, five Ritz crackers, while I sat cross-legged and talked to God—who listened without interruption or commentary to all my chatter—my every small and large thought and feeling. In time I called this practice prayer.
God didn’t do a thing I asked; nor did God tell me precisely what to do. God just listened. Thus I learned that I mattered. I also learned that God did not fix the world according to my specs, which were, I thought, quite honest and righteous and right.
Suzanne Farnham, trustee and founder of Listening Hearts, was married to an Episcopal priest, the late Rev. Barny Farnham. She is the author of many books on this kind of quiet listening prayer.
We listen for God in the way God listens for us. I have no way to prove the divine presence; I just trust it. However, I do know that the churches and the world could use more listening right now. Listening builds community anywhere, from small family units to large congregations, governments and societies. Here are some guidelines to listening conversations or meetings anywhere for any reason. (Parenthesized comments are mine.)
-Take time to settle, sit down and shut up. (How many times do you rush into a meeting of any kind breathless?)
-Listen to others with your whole being. (Sometimes, I just surface listen. It helps to take notes, so I do not miss the point entirely.)
-Do not interrupt. (An impulse I often have, and too often fail to respect, especially if someone else non-stop blats)
-Pause between speakers. (Impossible but try for a breath or two.)
-Do not formulate what you what you want to say next while someone else is speaking. (Laughably impossible. Helps to jot one-word reminders.)
-Speak for yourself only—your own thoughts and feelings. Avoid being hypothetical or generalizing. (Sometimes hard to avoid phrases like, “I read somewhere that . . . OR Well, everyone says . . . )
-Do not challenge what others say. (Keep thoughts, such as, ‘What a jerk!’ to yourself.)
-Listen to the group as a whole—to those who have not spoken as well as to those who have. (I do this well, occasionally asking what the silent one thinks or feels.)
-Generally, leave space for anyone who may want to speak for the first time before speaking a second time yourself. (Yikes!)
-Hold your thoughts and opinions, even your convictions—lightly. (How lightly!?)
All these guidelines are excellent for effective decision-making, soothing family tensions, and group discernment. They are heavily used in churches and religious organizations, because most spiritual people know that God’s peaceful, loving presence is more likely to be clearly felt in contexts in which we deeply and respectfully listen to each other.
This is how we can move from the omnipotent “I” to the even more potent “WE”.
