2019.05.05 Rich Blooming Thanks and Farewell

We have had such a week of riches I hardly know where to begin writing about it all—like choosing between dark chocolate and red wine.  So I’ll start at the end this week and work my way back, hoping to sustain the rest of Easter’s 50 days with glories. 

Dick and I have been the Diocesan Coordinators for the EfM program for nine years. With a combination of deep sadness and a ready-to-be-done feeling, we passed the proverbial baton onto, well yes, younger people with just as much zeal and skill. EfM is a program of adult Christian formation that engages small seminar group participants in sophisticated curricula about their religion (Bible, both testaments, Church history, theology up to the present day) through a process of theological reflection (affectionately called TR) by which group members connect biblical material and other historical and theological resources with their own lived experience.

How is God in this with you? is always the spiritual question and quest.

Example: “There are days I, (a junior high public school teacher) feel like Moses trying to guide a group of frightened hormonal teens through unsteady waters and a desert to a promised land where they can discover their own core convictions, values, and gifts. I talk to God a lot, a lot. I feel often like a failure.” The group identified with “Mosaic” frustrations and sought ways in which God’s presence was there for Moses—and for them. Moses became a biblical prayer partner, modeling faith, endurance, persistence and prayer conversations with God.

EfM participants get to share and to know each other well over four years of study, prayer and experiential TR. In knowing and sharing, participants mature in their faith, connecting their own faith story with the stories and wisdom in their faith tradition.

As Coordinators we inaugurated the team coordinator model here. We are only the third EfM coordinator in Massachusetts since 1983. We have set up regular training events for mentors whose “Mosaic” task is to guide groups in theological reflection toward spiritual maturity. Mentors needs support and collegiality. We have hosted mentors’ meetings, often twice a year ,over the years. We have been available for advice and supervision of mentors and groups as needed. We have hosted mentor trainers from out of state on occasion. We have supplied comfort food, especially M&M's and wine, for mentors in training.  We have advocated for and promoted EfM wherever we can throughout the diocese. We have worked hard to make the diocese aware of EfM and its illuminative spirituality. Even so, the Episcopal Church has identified a crisis in formation for adults. We do well by children and youth, but with adults not so much.

We have great confidence in the new Diocesan Coordinators: David Bresnahan and Laurie Brown. To the group’s delight and ours, they led us in a TR as a way to say good bye: a TR on Lyn and Dick. They listed all the pluses and minuses of our ministry and came up with a metaphor for how we have served in this ministry: Yin and Yang.

We explored and identified with the image through everyone’s experience and feelings. The group had many insights about the porosity, vulnerability, challenges, tensions, temptations, and flexibility of our image. We shared laughter, joy, and some tears too.

To close, we wrote a Collect together and the group laid their hands on us as we sat in their midst—hands of love. Here we are posed in front of the Collect we all composed.

The Collect, in case it is not legible enough:

O God of yin and yang;
You pour your love into us and gently hold us in tension.
We ask that you keep us open to “both/and” so that we know the other in ourselves.
In the name of the Cosmic Christ.  AMEN.

I can’t imagine a more powerful or enlivening way to receive authentic thanks and farewell, profound and not sentimental, from this awesome group of bright mentors.We experienced God in this Incarnational process, feeling the energy of the divine spirit caressing and strengthening body and soul at once. Add a gorgeously decorated sweet chocolate and vanilla cake and PERFECTION.

Thank you blessed and beloved mentors.  Thank you. EfM is yin/yang, right?

2019.01.20 Accident

On a stormy November day, on a local street in Brookline Massachusetts, the wind and the rain grabbed onto an outsized branch, detaching it from its trunk and jet propelling it through the passenger side windshield of a car and deeply into the body of a woman named Susan Butler. It crushed her innards. Susan, age seventy-one, suffered multiple internal injuries and sustained multiple surgeries to repair multiple organs at a Boston hospital.

The horror of this accident—and accident it was, for who can blame a tree for being a tree, or God for creating a world of such cruel fragility—seized many people with vicarious traumatic reactions, even those who, like myself, knew Susan peripherally. A woman of quiet unassuming grace and practical wisdom, formed and fortified by her religious faith as a Christian, Susan was a longtime mentor in the Education for Ministry (EfM), which is how I knew her.

A week after the accident I went with my husband Dick Simeone to be with the EfM seminar group Susan mentored with Laurie Brown her co-mentor. We lead a Prayer Vigil, including a reading from Romans 8 about divine omnipresence, and a hymn I composed to the tune #508 in the Hymnal:

Breathe in her breath of God
healing her body’s pain
so that she may in purest love
breathe in and breathe out again.

Breathe in her breath of God
making her body whole
so she may know Your life in hers
and hers in Your gentle hold.

As Susan lay in the hospital we prayed, sang, and wept for her healing. Susan’s husband of forty-five years, Jim Butler, a physiologist and senior lecturer at the Harvard School of Public Health, offered to come speak to the group. Jim was driving the car when the accident happened and was unharmed. “Unharmed” is a ridiculously inaccurate word to use, but I mean unharmed in body only. I thought Jim’s offer was incredibly brave.

Here, in his own words, is his offer: “I know that all of what's said in efm is confidential; I also know that many of you are hurting for information and feel helpless, as do I.  Would you think it a good idea if I came this Wednesday to speak with the efm group?  I have no idea how I would handle talking about this, but am willing to try.  Of course I know this is unconventional, but then this is an unconventional time, at least for Susan and me.  It may be that sharing some of this would be good for all of us.  I would offer two things, depending on what you think: 1.What happened and the medical aftermath.  2. My own thoughts on life, death, dying, and whatever road Susan will be on.”  His was a gracious and helpful gift we all received with gratitude. For many this gift was the beginning of their being able for the first time to feel their hearts and to sob.

Jim told us how very much Susan wanted to talk and could not. He created a word board by which she could nod to letters. She was able to firmly indicate NO to certain further procedures, and the couple struggled together, with love and fear and hope, for a month before Susan died on December 9th.

Here is the postcard Jim sent their family and friends in gratitude for “Love and Support:
It is with a heavy and broken heart that I write in response to all your cards, speaking of your love for Susan. I thank you for that, and apologize for the impersonal nature of this postcard, but I am swamped with cards, love, and prayers, and this is the best I can do. I know Susan always responded with a postcard, and I am trying to do the same, on her behalf. Please know that you are all very near and dear to me, and to Susan.”

I am touched by Jim’s own own spirituality. He is not religious, as Susan was, but, when I sent him Socrates’s phrase: "Wisdom begins in wonder",  he wrote this:“Yes, I know this attribution to Socrates. It's pretty foundational to my own spirituality -- to see the divine, not just in a beautiful flower, but also where it's hidden. That's harder, but no less important.  Sometime I'll tell you about homework I used to assign (graduate level physiology): take a walk, look, touch, wonder. Students hated it; it's too hard.”  This spoke volumes about the sensitivity of this scientist who, when I suggested he was a theologian, firmly denied it.

How do we deal with such heartbreak? I don’t know. One thing Jim did was to find a tree on the hospital grounds, embrace it and tell it it wasn’t its fault. I wept. Accident comes from the Latin root ad+ cedere = to fall into. That’s what the sodden branch did: it fell into Susan. Simply so.

It is so very hard to accept an accident as just an accident. We want causes, explanations, we want to place blame or responsibility somewhere, even if it us upon ourselves. But this was pure accident.

For this all we can do is gently tend to our own feelings and surround ourselves with people who say dumb but well-meaning things, such as: “God will not give you more than you can bear.” What baloney!  Or worse: “Everything happens for a reason.”  If your heart is broken by a tragic accident or a senseless death, such words plunge like a sharp knife into your heart and break it all over again. Just say I love you, or,  Is there anything I can to help? 

When Dick was hit by a car and suffered significant injuries to his leg, a friend asked what I would like. “Can you please bake me some chocolate chip cookies.”  She did and delivered them. I have no idea exactly how that helped me cope with an injured husband and a parish to manage, but it did. 

Before she died, Susan Butler silently mouthed to Jim the three greatest words in the universe: I love you.

2018.09.23 A Crisis of Formation In the Episcopal Church?

Does anyone imagine that the core values of the Christianity—like social justice, prayer, outreach, compassion, liturgy, ministry, care for all Creation—flourish without a solid rootedness in faith formation? 

Yesterday Dick and I were presenters at a day-long Ministry Network Showcase, sponsored by the diocese. There were thirteen presenters sharing specific ministries focused on Reimagining Our Congregations, Building Our Relationships, and Engaging Our World. We spoke as the Coordinators of Education for Ministry (EfM) in the diocese. Here’s Dick at our resource table. So cute, isn’t he?

Obviously all presentations, strictly timed (with only a couple of cheats) at 18 minutes each, overlapped in energy and intent: being in relationship to work together as ministers to bring about justice, compassion, and peace. All these works can happen without religious faith of course, but the fuel for their implanting and ongoing verve is spiritual—the love of God in our flesh. It’s shareable!   Ministry is present in whatever we do. Think of it this way: everyone we meet and everything that happens presents us with an opportunity to enhance or impede the flow of divine love.

To avoid dryness, Dick and I invited the audience to listen in on a conversation between two lay Episcopalians about The Episcopal Church (TEC). We opened with “Houston, we have a problem! We can’t get down!”

What’s that got to do with the Church?

Despite being lost in wonder, love and praise over our liturgy and music, we haven’t done well landing in ongoing faith formation for adults—ADULTS!

Some facts—not fake news, taken from an article by Missy Morain, lifelong Christian formation advocate in the Diocese of Los Angeles, entitled “A Crisis of Formation.” 

“Christian Faith Formation in TEC is lifelong growth in the knowledge, service and love of God as followers of Christ and is informed by Scripture, Tradition and Reason.” That, dear friend, is TEC’s General Convention (GC) resolution passed in 2009.

Are we doing it?

Not so much.
    -At our 2018 GC there was NO talk about formation and discipleship.
    -Over the past nine years GC made significant changes to structure and governance of TEC.  They chose in 2012, just three years after that noble resolution, to END the work of the Standing Commission on Lifelong Christian Formation, to CUT its budget by $2 million, AND to reduce its full-time staff from 9 people to 4. FOUR!
    -There is only enough staff and funding to work on formation for ages 13-30. Do the math. Is that lifelong?

It IS a crisis. What now?

EfM of course. It’s offered by the Beecken Center of the School of Theology at the University of the South, Sewanee, Tennesee and has been around since 1975. It is defined as a distance learning program of adult formation—a curriculum covering both biblical testaments, church history and theology over four years. EfM meets in small weekly seminar groups guided by certified and re-certified mentors. EfM happens all over TEC and the Anglican Communion AND it’s ecumenical, open to all denominations. 

Too big a commitment!

Sign up one year at a time.

My Rector’s too busy to take on another parish program.

EfM is not a parish program. It comes at no cost and with nothing to do. Maybe offer space.

Oh, the vestry will love that! 

EfM thrives on TR. That’s theological reflection, a process that helps us connect the wisdom of our faith tradition to our lived experience. TR is spiritual: EfM’s heart and soul. Insights are electric!

Come on! Really?

Yup. Here are a couple of true examples.

I’m a parent serving on our local school board. I was recently stunned when one of our kindergarten teachers came before the board. She spoke about EfM, said it made her a theologian and a minister. She asked us if she could apply the 18 CEUS she got yearly for her EfM training to fulfill her continuing education requirement as a teacher.  She told us she saw her students with new eyes. I was so impressed.

Did the board grant her request?

You bet we did—unanimously.

Another EfM’er, a businessman, raved about his EfM group, told me he never thought of himself as a minister. “Imagine me a minister!” He laughed, then told me he saw his staff and clients differently. “Maybe I try to see them as God sees them.”

Hey, Houston, EfM is a way for TEC to land and to honor its own resolution.

Besides brochures we made book marks with contact information and EfM’s purpose and mission:

LIFELONG CHRISTIAN
FORMATION GIVE US
STURDY LEGS AS WE
ENGAGE THE WORLD.

EFM GIVES US
CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK
GRACEFULLY ABOUT OUR
RELIGION’S VALUE

EfM Coordinators:
    Lyn Brakeman:lyngbrakeman@gmailcom, 978-314-7763
    Dick Simeone: sim6366@gmail.com, 978-314-7762

2017.07.30 Book Review Heaven: God Is Not a Boy's Name...

Jesus’s parables tell us that the reign of heaven on earth is like a pinch of leaven, a tiny mustard seed, a pearl lost in a great field. They challenge us to be pearl, seed, leaven—remembering that our presence, no matter how small, can enhance the reign of divine Love.

As any writer knows, waiting around like some kind of salivating lap dog for someone to feed your hungry soul with a review of your book, can be torturous.


Book reviews are what you want—and don’t. I hope my writings are like the parabolic pearl or leaven or seed. Humble and grateful, the few reviews I’ve received are positive. Here are snippets.
 
Karen Erlichman, DMin, LCSW, a faculty mentor in a Jewish spiritual direction training program, wrote a review, published in the September, 2017, issue of Presence, International Journal of Spiritual Direction. I love that she refers to other faith traditions.

“As a spiritual director I am a curator of personal stories. Memoir is a unique genre that requires a skillful writer to create a personal story that is compelling, but not too dramatic, touching without being cloying, and historically relevant but not overly academic. These nuanced writing skills are particularly important for a spiritual memoir. Episcopal priest, spiritual director, and pastoral counselor Lyn Brakeman has written a stunningly poetic, hilarious, unapologetically feminist, heart-opening memoir that hits the mark beautifully on all of the above facets. God Is Not a Boy’s Name: Becoming Woman, Becoming Priest is a compelling, juicy, passionate, and gracefully narrated account of Brakeman’s life as a child of god, servant of God, and lover of God. She invites us to walk with her  . . .”  

The review goes on to elaborate structure and some details, concluding with the acknowledgment that my memoir will “touch the heart and minds of readers in many faith traditions.” That to me is the highest compliment, because I think such connections can mend a broken world.


Dr. Allan G. Hunter, professor of literature at Curry College, one of my writing teachers and a published author himself wrote on FaceBook. Praise from a teacher is the best.

“I loved every bit of your memoir, Lyn. What a great read, and what important points, social and doctrinal, you make. I found myself writing extensive notes about the ways patriarchy had squeezed the real energy out of so much religion, and in the process killed so much of the humanity in it. Impressive work, dear soul!” 


Jennifer (Jinks) Hoffmann, spiritual director, poetry editor for Presence and author of "It’s All God Anyway. Poetry for the Everyday."  Jinks gets the patriarchal language issue!

Lyn Brakeman's memoir, God is not a Boy's Name, is simply fabulous! Read it, if you want to laugh and cry, and mostly cheer, for this inspiring, wild, gutsy, and determined woman who decides to become an Episcopalian priest. She will not take no for several answers, and spends 14 years persuading the powers that be to ordain her.

Lyn is blindingly honest, so you will learn a great deal about her childhood, her family of origin and her nuclear family, about addiction, adultery, life and death. . . . and her passion for a religion that is free of male pronouns and bias against women. But mostly you will meet God. If you join her on her journey, the odds are 2 to 1 that your God will show up more in your own life." 


Susan Oleksiw, author of mystery novels and a skilled writer herself. It means a lot that my book passes muster with a “secular” who is sick of spiritual pablum and acknowledges my understanding of rejecting bishops.

“I rarely read books about spiritual awakenings or anything else about one person’s religious life, but the author of this memoir is a friend and I was curious about how she handled topics that could easily ring false. I needn’t have worried. The author’s voice is authentic on every page—funny, wry, self-deprecating, revealing, light-hearted, determined, frustrated, irked, and all the rest that makes us human. This is an honest story of one woman’s struggle to become an episcopal priest, made less than easy by a resistant hierarchy, a deteriorating marriage, and a fear of alcoholism. And the path to priesthood begins and ends, apparently, with Ritz crackers.

One of the more rewarding aspects of this memoir is the deepening understanding of the bishops who rejected her.

This is a delightful, well paced story of one woman’s life that is lived on the path to priesthood.”


The Rt. Rev. Audrey Scanlan, bishop of Central Pennsylvania and former Christian formation director at Trinity Church in Collinsville, Connecticut, my sponsoring parish for ordination, and the parish where my second husband was rector and Audrey’s supervisor and “boss.” Love that she read it in one sitting.

“I spent last night’s insomnia reading God is Not a Boy’s Name. Got through it in one sitting. Me and my Kindle in the dark of the night. It was a wonderfully affirming feminist viewpoint on the Church that we love; it was a stark reminder of how far we have come and how far we have yet to go.  I also loved the real analysis and coming to terms with the complexities of your relationship with your mom. Your relationship with your dad seemed pretty clear, all along, but it was wonderful to see the depth of discovery of your relationship with your mother. So- thanks.”


Thomas Tufts, mentor for the Education for Ministry (EfM) program of  Christian formation. Tom writes from his perspective as a mentor in a program in which the process of Theological Reflection (TR) on lived experience is as central to one’s self-awareness as a minister as is any academic knowledge of the religious tradition.Theological reflection is so integrated into my life I didn’t see it in my memoir! Great advertisement for the formation value of EfM.

“I’ve known Lyn as EfM Co-coordinator for the Diocese of Massachusetts for six years and recently read her book God is Not a Boy’s Name.

My first reaction was that I wished I had read this book six years ago when I was starting EfM and learning what Theological Reflection was from teaching about the 4-step, 4-source model. For me it  is a perfect example of several themes of EfM: wrestling with our faith, deepening our relationship with God, and opening our hearts and minds to others.  I plan to offer it optionally as suggested reading to the members our group, #6069,  in August as an experiment to see if it helps people in September as we practice listening, spiritual autobiography, and theological reflection.  I felt that it took my appreciation of theological reflection to a whole new level in terms of the challenges, rethinking , coherence and integrity these practices can bring to my life not just once, but progressively and repeatedly as I constantly perceive and confront what is new and different in my life.”


All I need is a few more non-Amazon reviews from a Christian or two, maybe an Episcopalian?