2022.03.13 Unlikely Friendships. Lyn G. Brakeman, Spiritual Lemons, blog post, 3/3/22

Like these unlikely animal pairs, we human beings are also capable, though far less likely to  exercise the privilege, of forming unlikely friendships. It’s safer to stay in our herd—also less transformational, less challenging, and possibly boring. 

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 A teacher at the Gorilla Foundation had taught an ape named Koko sign language. One day Koko signaled by drawing two fingers across her cheek like whiskers, that she wanted a cat—not surprising because her keeper had also been reading to the ape whose favorite stories were “Puss in Boots” and “The Three Little Kittens”.  Stuffed animals, however, did not satisfy Koko, so her trainer offered her the pick from a litter of stray kittens. Koko was smitten with this tiny male tailless kitten whom she named All Ball. Aren’t they a pair?

 

Koko treated Ball as any mother of  babies would—cuddling, carrying him tucked in her thigh, even playing little games—done with the utmost tender care, and all received with utter joy. Tiny Ball, alas, escaped from the enclosure one day and was hit by a car.  People working with Koko witnessed the ape’s emotions—the tremendous silence of deep grief. It showed in her face, and, pointing to a photo of Ball, she signed with her huge hands: “Sleep cat. Cry, sad, frown.” 

Now, anyone could make a case that this all was because apes and their ilk are more advanced than other animals—more like us. Or, you could make a case for maternal instincts alone. 

But no……………

Picture an English Spaniel named Sophi and an owl named Bramble from a birds-of prey conservation center in Cornwall, England. This is an amusing reversal of traditional names. Owls are usually considered wise, and Spaniels by nature are eager to hunt and retrieve felled birds of prey in their jaws, not befriend them. Still when Bramble was young the owner of the center brought him into her home. The curious three-year-old Sophi immediately started to lick Bramble’s beak. This became a daily ritual, and whenever Sophi was around, Bramble jumped about and flapped to be let out of her cage to join Sophi for a cuddling and cleaning session. This ritual became mutual as Bramble “beaked” Sophi in return for Sophi’s “kisses". Even after Bramble went off to the aviary he would swoop down to visit Sophi for their grooming sessions. They were a couple. In love? 

 

So who says animals don’t have feelings?

Then there’s the  Kookaburra and the duckling. 

I always wondered what a Kookaburra was, because my mother used to sing some goofy song about a Kookaburra sitting in an old gum tree. It was an Australian nursery rhyme. Kookaburras are not necessarily nice. They have a high-pitched cackle, sort of like, well, “girls’ night out” in a local bar. And Kookaburras often eat their young. But a wildlife center on the Isle of Wight, England, managed to breed and save some hatchlings, one of which they christened Kookie. 

This same staff had also rescued a tiny Madagascar teal duckling. To alleviate possible loneliness, they thought to pair Kookie with the wee duckling. The two oddly, became pals. The duckling burrowed its fluffy body under Kookie’s wing for warmth. The duckling, when separated for the night, jumped up and down, eager to get back to the blasé Kookie who showed no aggression. In time another litter of ducklings hatched and Kookie babysat all three. As Kookie grew up and into his adult voice, he could, and would, emit his wild guffawing and scare the feathers off his duckies—or not. 

No one really know how or why such youthful bondings form, but experts do know that they last. 

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Do you remember such friends when you were a young child? I do. I also remember that there was little fear about differences until I got older and had been “carefully taught” to fear. Again, it is young children who will lead this world along the way into and through this fearful time in our history—a time when we are called to abandon cherished biases, flawed values like individualism and independence, favored warlike strategies of survival. It is time for a politics that is humanitarian not partisan, and a spirituality that re-embodies an ancient wisdom:  ALL LIVES ARE PRECIOUS IN GOD’S SIGHT.   

(I am indebted (photos and data) to Jennifer Holland’s amazing book, Unlikely Friendships about the power of friendship, in true stories from the animal kingdom.)